I was recently asked to help put together a marriage blessing for a mom whose son is soon to be wed. This is obviously a huge honor, and I put together the following as a sample blessing that she could use however she found helpful. My desire was to inspire her own words by giving something that I would pray over my daughters.
I have loved being married and hope similar enjoyment for you. Here are a marriage blessings and below that 10 tips to a lasting marriage.
A Marriage Blessing
Heavenly Father, You have granted us the blessing of marriage to unite a man and woman to a shared life together. Today I bless these two with a unity that will hold them throughout whatever may come. May each day from now to the rest of their lives grow them closer together and deeper into You.
I bless my son with insight into how to love his wife in ways she needs from him. I bless him with wisdom to know how to listen to the leading of the Holy Spirit for his family and how to encourage the same from his wife. I pray that with him by her side, his wife will always feel safe, taken care of, and cherished. My son, may you be quick to lay down your life for this bride of yours and gain more insight on the love Jesus has for you.
I bless my new daughter-in-law with strength and courage to fight for what is right and good for this family. Give her wisdom in how to use her words to encourage and bless her husband, always filled with grace to bring them both closer together.
I bless this couple with a life of shared adventure with the Lord. Wherever the Lord leads, I pray that they will be on the same page. I bless them with a trust in each other that they share every encounter with God that they have and know the other will stand with them with an openness to understanding.
Finally, I bless them with a fullness of love, joy, and friendship. May they always look toward their future together with hope and expectation. And, may they always be an example to those around them of the love Jesus has for His own.
It gives me full joy to stand with them today and celebrate the life they are starting together.
Holy Spirit, surround them, protect them, and bless them.
Tips to a Lasting Marriage
Along with this email I received, I had a friend who recently got engaged. I wanted to give them some thoughts about marriage that excite them for their journey and give them something practical to use. I put together a list of marriage tips that I believed have helped my own marriage.
1. Always go to bed at the same time. This consistent act puts you in a place to get physical contact and talk about your day. It enhances intimacy and maintains connection. While life can get busy, this protects the marriage.
2. Pray together every night. This is easier to do when you go to bed at the same time. It doesn’t have to be long. My wife and I do it after we chatted about our day and before we nod off to sleep. Pray for your protection, provisions, blessings, direction, and both of you will grow together in love and unity.
3. Spend regular time together. Most couples call this a date night. Find things you both enjoy doing together. We like to go on hikes or just take a walk around the neighborhood. Find something that builds into your friendship for one another.
4. Always speak well of each other to others. If you need to vent (we all do at times), do it to someone who loves both of you and will point you back to see the best in each other. The goal is always to get past those irritations to remember you are committed to each other.
5. Your relationship with each other is more important than being right. The goal of arguments is not to win but to get on the same page.
6. When angry or upset, avoid words like “always” and “never.” They will put the other person in a defensive position, and they will think of the one time that wasn’t true. These words also break down trust and are hard to come back from.
7. When you have difficult conversations, continue to verbalize your commitment to each other. Reminding your spouse of your love and commitment to the relationship builds a safe place to have the difficult conversation even when it may scare them.
8a. When it comes to sex, media has taught incorrectly. It is deeply intimate and personal. You will need to learn to talk to each other about it to make it mutually pleasurable.
8b. Everything is pretty much acceptable as long as you both are agreeable. EXCEPT bringing other people in, whether literally or through images, imaginations, or fantasies. Your attraction is developed by what you fixate on, so fixate on each other.
9. The more you grow your relationship with God; the more you grow your capacity to love each other. Our ability to love is found in our realization of God’s love for us. Our ability to forgive and more toward each other is found in the grace given to us.
10. Constantly ask God how to view each other. Your spouse will discourage you. Look to God for accurate assessment of them because God will always see what is best in them. He wants you to have every blessing found in marriage and lead you down the journey to take you there.
I hope you found these thoughts helpful to you. I love being married, and I greatly wish the same for every other marriage. God has given us a great gift with another person to walk this life with you.
Here are a few more resources to help you in your journey:
- 10 Things to Pray for Your Marriage
- 10 Things to Pray For Your Husband
- 10 Things to Pray For Your Wife
- Sacred Marriage by Gary Thomas (Bible study to download)