image of Luke Sankey in prayer
The Power of Habit
The common thought is it takes 21 days to form a habit. I can’t tell you how many times I have heard this through high school youth groups to parenting training. If you can just stick with something for 21 days you will form a habit, then everything will be easier.
While it is true that repetition creates momentum, habits cannot form if we don’t really want them. I recently read a review of The Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg that simplified the process down to three steps.
The Three Steps to a Habit
“In order to build a habit you need to create a Cue, a Routine, and a Reward.”
– Charles Duhigg
The cue is the thing to remind you to do something. For instance if you want to start exercising, you may place your running shoes by the bed so it reminds you when you wake up to go for a run. Or, you can set up an appointment with a buddy to meet at the gym. The cue is the thing to be that personal reminder to do the habit you want to create.
The routine is the habit itself. This can be any habit you want to create. To be more precise, the routine is what you do in order to accomplish the habit you want to create.
The reward is what you want to get out of the habit. Using the exercise example, maybe the reward is a new pair of pants or running in a certain event. The reward is the motivation for creating the habit.
Creating a Habit Example
The book tells the story of how in the early 1900’s Pepsodent was trying to get people to brush their teeth (all marketing is trying to get you to do something they want you to do). The cue they created was to get people to realize the film on their teeth when they wake up. The routine was the brushing with Pepsodent. The reward was the fresh, clean feeling of your mouth. This campaign was especially successful since teeth cleaning was not a daily habit as it is today.
Understanding of how to form a habit can help you also break bad habits. If you have a problem drinking too much alcohol, you can think through these habit steps. The cue may be you are feeling sad. The routine is you drink. The reward is you forget your troubles. If this is your cycle, then figure out what is causing you to feel said and find another way to deal with it is the path to recovery.
As Christians we believe Jesus can heal alcoholism, but if the habit is formed too deeply, you may not really know what is causing you pain. You may feel the sadness internally and quickly deaden it through drinking before it hits your conscious awareness. Jesus will have a hard time healing what you are trying so hard to ignore. If you don’t address the pain, attacking the habit will only at best trade off to another bad habit.
How to Make a Habit of Prayer – Come Up with a Plan
What will be your cue to remember to pray? What will work for you? You can…
- set an alarm to wake you up earlier.
- create an extra appointment in your calendar to meet with God.
- put a dot on your watch to remind you to thank God every time you see it.
- sign up for daily email reminders at one of these habit making apps.
The cue is not to make you pray, it is only to remind you of what you want to accomplish. What is something you can do that will stand out as a reminder for you?
What will be your routine in prayer? Do you want to follow a prayer list, go through the ACTS of prayer, journal, etc.? The goal is spend time with God, but this can look so many ways. You are your own person, and what works for someone else may not work for you. Test out a few routines and match them to your personality. Find out what will be most meaningful to you.
What will be your reward? Think through this before overly spiritualizing the answer. Spending time with God should be reward enough, but for most people this is not a concrete reward. What are some of the side benefits for spending time with God which you can hold on. Is it peace? Confidence? Lightness of heart? Direction?
Steps to Make a Habit of Prayer
Do you want to make a habit of prayer? Think through these 3 steps and test them out. If you find that one of them is not working, change it. Does the cue remind you to pray, but you are still not motivated? Think about how you can change the routine or reward. Ask God for help in this process. He wants you to spend time with Him, so you can expect His help. If the steps work for a awhile and then stop, it could be God taking you into a new season. Be flexible and adjust to His direction.
What are some of the ways that helped you make a habit of prayer? Leave a comment below to help others grow in their relationship with God.