It is crazy to think how many misinterpretations about God and self we carry around. If you read the previous posts by Heather Jones (1, 2, 3), you can see how detrimental they can be to life, health, and your view of God. I came across a lie I was believe about myself one day on a hike.
My wife, Allison, and I were on a trail in upstate New York enjoying nature and going to a waterfall. This man was walking back from the falls with his dog. We greeting them and pet the dog. The dog got overly excited and jumped on us licking us. The man apologized saying, “He’s always embarrassing me.”
This man’s statement triggered a pain in my heart. As we walked on, I told Allison what I was feeling when he said that. She encouraged me that we can pray about it. When we did, God reminded me of a time my mom was on the phone. I was doing something. I don’t remember exactly but it was enough to where it got the attention of the person my mom was talking to. Then my mom told her, “It’s just Kevin. He’s always embarrassing me.”
There was the source of the pain. I took that on as my identity. I was an embarrassment.
Allison encouraged me to take that to God. I confessed that I believed the lie that I was an embarrassment. I thanked Him for His forgiveness and asked Him what His view of me was. As I prayerfully listened, I believed I heard Him say that He enjoyed showing me off to His friends.
Looking back on the years sense this time, it is amazing how healing that was. I had always avoided taking lead or responsibility for things. I would defer to others because I felt that nobody really liked me. I was more someone people put up with than enjoyed being with.
As I continued to work on believing what God said about me, I have been more willing to allow others to know me. I have been more willing to share things that are deeply personal choosing to believe that God enjoys showing me off to His friends. This blog is an expression of living out this belief.
Dealing with my false beliefs and how they got there are not a witch hunt to pin all my issues on others. My mom has a lot of good qualities and love for me. But in a moment of frustration, she said something that hurt me. Everybody has sinned, and all sin hurts. But at the same time, all sin has been dealt with. As we bring it into the light, we can find the healing we need to experience the full life offered to us (John 10:10).