Helpful Training on Parenting
This year I read Danny Silk’s Loving our Kids on Purpose on my wife’s recommendation. I thoroughly enjoyed this book and quickly decided it is my favorite parenting book out there. I liked it so much that I reread it and created a Bible Study to go along with it. Here are some of my takeaways.
Most of us have had no real training on parenting besides the on-the-job training once kids enter our world. Most of the advice people offered us was warnings about how hard it would be: boys are wild and girls will break your heart – just you wait. Even if we decide not to accept that reality, once we try parenting we become quickly surprised how much of it involves spanking, punishment, or just plain frustration.
The Father’s Heart for Our Children
This book will open you to a whole new perspective. Silk pulls from his personal experience, professional training, and principles from Scripture. He matches our goals in parenting up to what drives the Father’s heart for His children. This book will identify the Father’s heart for His children and tactics that can open your child to live out of them.
I would break this book down to the following subjects:
- Chapter 1a: Parenting Free Children
- Chapter 1b: Relinquishing Your Right to Control
- Chapter 2: Building Relationship Through Consistent Love
- Chapter 3: Managing Yourself Well
- Chapter 4: Promoting Healthy Choices
- Chapter 5: Enforcing Consequences to Choices
If I were to distill this book into some main points, they would be:
Love allows for freedom and choice.
Choices have consequences.
Our connection is more important than their obedience.
Allowing Our Children Power to Choose
We want our children to grow up and flourish in life. Each of us have unlimited amount of choices we can make each day. Should we go to work or take a sick day? Should we go out for dinner or make something at home? Should go to a movie or read a book? Each decision has consequences. Some of those consequences affect many things down the line.
How are we as parents allowing our kids to choose for themselves?
The ability to choose makes your kids feel powerful and alive. It prepares them for the real world. If you don’t give it to them, they will start to fight you for it.
Building and nourishing our connection with our children prepares them to continue to come to us when the choices get harder. There is still a role for discipline, but it is never out of anger because anger destroys loves.
I strongly encourage everyone to read this book. My wife and I have been working to implement these principles in our own family. We have great kids and have had some good training, but Silk painted a future state that was too wonderful not to go for.
Kevin Shorter is the founder of this prayer-coach site and have served for several years in ministry and churches teaching on a variety of Biblical topics. Go to the contact page to request him to speak at your conferences and seminars.