How Do I Deal With Struggles in My Marriage?

image used courtesy of Project M: Marriage Blog

Recently God is putting a lot of people in my path that are struggling in their marriages. There is a consistent encouragement that God has been allowing me to share that I think appropriate here.

Many people with marriage issues face an emotional roller coaster. Good days and bad days. The good days are encouraging, but they are also emotionally draining because you just do not know what you are going to get. Some days your spouse thinks you are the source of everything wrong; other days they are offering hope to something better.

What is going on? Is your spouse bi-polar? How come you do not know what you are going to get?

On those good days, your spouse is living out of their true self.

All God’s works are wonderful therefore when our lives reflect the fruit of the Spirit, we are living out of who God created us to be (Psalm 139:14 and Galatians 5:22). Even if your spouse is not a Christian, deep down God has created in them the desire to have a good and healthy marriage with you.

Since this is God’s will for your spouse, the enemy will try to steal, kill, and destroy it (John 10:10). He is feeding lies into your spouse about you, them, and your marriage. Therefore the ups and downs in your marriage are your spouse’s choice over which voice they will listen to.

Now before you think this is only a matter of spiritual warfare, your spouse does have responsibility in the matter. And, choices they have made in the past allow the enemy greater influence.

Let’s say your spouse had a father that constantly berated them saying they would never amount to anything. Therefore they grew up with many lies about God and themselves. One would be that God would never come through for them.

What happens when there are difficulties in the marriage?

The enemy feeds into those lies saying it is not going to work out. God is not going to protect you. You might as well give up. Your spouse is out to get you. They don’t believe you will amount to anything anyway. You don’t need that kind of pressure.

Because of the events of the past and the lies they already believe, the enemy’s lies are now amplified to a degree that they cannot hear the voice of God.

What are you to do?

Choose not to respond in like form. When they speak these lies to you, do not get angry. Do not defend. Respond in love. Always proclaim your commitment toward the marriage. In prayer take authority over the enemy reducing his ability to speak to your spouse and to you. As you deny the enemy’s ability to speak, then the voice of God will be able to penetrate easier to your spouse.

This is not a magic pill. Your spouse still has the choice of whose voice to listen to. But you will be preparing the ground for a better harvest. You can plant the seed, till the ground, and water the plant, but only God causes it to grow. It is the pleasure of God to change lives. And, even if your spouse decides not to change, God blesses those who choose to give life to others. Rest in His ability to protect and provide for you.

• Additional Resource: 10 Things to Pray for Your Wife